My Darkness

So today I finally got a job! Hooray! It was Elementary P.E. (enough said) and it started off with some spilled sour milk (gag), but that"s for another day. So I am a little late in typing out my blog for the day.  I actually had a really good day of reading material and reflecting on scripture, however I felt like I needed to talk about yesterday.  Now, just a little disclaimer: this is not to get sympathy, or to receive words of encouragement, or to throw a pity party. I just felt like with this blog I want to be completely honest with what I go through and how God moves. So here goes:

Yesterday just down right sucked.  I went to the "woman" doctor for a checkup, and although everything physically was fine, emotionally, I was not.  There are few things in my life that have just left me utterly broken, and yesterday was one of them.  As I watched tummy after tummy enter for their checkups, reality hit me hard.  I can honestly say that God has gone above and beyond to provide me with peace and understanding about this situation, but yesterday, it just crumbled.  I went home feeling completely helpless, hopeless, and just down right sad.  My heart ached for what could have been, and now at the long road ahead.  I say all of this to point out that even though I try to grow in my faith, and I try to be strong, sometimes, I just can't do it. These are the times when I realize just how much I truly need God, and yesterday, I just needed Him to hold me. I just wanted to ache.

I know that we all have felt that at some point in our lives, and no amount of comfort or words, or earthly hugs and tears can make the pain go away.  So today I hope this message brings you comfort in those sorrowful moments of life.  I read serveral verses that were comforting to me, but I would like to save those for a later date.  Today, I feel I need to share these beautiful words that spoke so perfectly to how I felt yesterday, and I take comfort in their message of hope to me. I hope you will top.
"Like a candle in the rain, I feel so helpless. Waiting for a flame to come, and light my darkness. But even in the rain, God burns with a flame, like 10,000 candles in my darkness. Even though I'm blinded Lord, and darkness covers me, I gladly put my trust, in what I cannot see. And when you shine Your light Oh Lord, darkness flees from thee, Never shall I fear, for Your light is guiding me. Your light is guiding me." (Words by:Paul Logan Clark)

Even in my darkest, heart wrenching moments, God's light shines through and leads me on. Love you all.