Spring's Rolling In

This morning, as I walked Samson, I was overcome by God's beauty.  All around me, the trees were blooming, the grass was bright green, and the water rippled across the pond. It was breathtaking.  Every single detail from the enormity of an old tree to the tiniest blade of grass was all perfect. God's craftsmanship all around.  Along my journey I came across a babbling brooke, a hill covered in dandelions, and a flock of chattering geese. As I felt the wind and watched it blow through the trees, all I could do was praise God for the privilege of seeing his masterpiece.

As Spring rolls in and turns to summer, I would just encourage you to take a moment and enjoy the beauty around you. I absolutely love the changing of the seasons. I think we get to see some of God's best work. To me, there is nothing more peaceful and reassuring than appreciating the landscape around me...it's proof that He exists and that He is right there with me.

Came across this verse today in my devotions, it's an old favorite, but a goodie:

Lamentations 3:22-27 (New International Version, ©2011)

 ²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness. ²⁴ I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.”
 ²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
   to the one who seeks him;
²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
   for the salvation of the LORD.

May we be reminded of His faithfulness in our lives as we discover His beauty all around us.

HE IS RISEN!

This morning is a glorious morning! This morning, we find the women approaching Jesus' tomb, but instead of a body, the grave is empty! Can you imagine that! After two days of mourning and weeping the loss of their beloved friend and son, these precious women arrive to find that their Lord is not there. Frustrated, confused, and sorrowful, I imagine they begin to almost panic..where is his body? Why would someone take their Lord? Is this a cruel joke? And then..are you ready for this.. a still, gentle voice calls “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. ⁶ He is not here; he has risen, just as he said." (Matthew 28)

Hallelujah!

In John, Jesus appears to Mary as she is weeping "
 ¹³ They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”
   “They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” ¹⁴ At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
 ¹⁵ He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”
   Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”
 ¹⁶ Jesus said to her, “Mary.” ....Goosebumps

How sweet, how gentle I imagine His voice. In the midst of their sorrow, Jesus so tenderly restores their breaking hearts. Oh what joy must flood their soul when they realize their Savior is standing before them!

Hear the good news today. Christ is RISEN! He has conquered death and sin. He is alive, He is whole, He is among us! Today I rejoice for my impurity, my shame, my guilt,my chains are GONE. I have been forgiven and made anew, and today my heart overflows with joy that Christ saved a wretch like me!

Today as we celebrate, may you hear him whisper your name...it is for you that He died..for you to be free. Do not be afraid, for today we can live victorious through Jesus Christ our risen Savior.

Hallelujah He is risen..He is risen indeed!

Easter Video/ The Beauty in Saturday

Ok so I had a vision to put together this little video. For the most part, it turned out all right. I had the whole thing worked out perfectly and the site wanted to charge me 50bucks to use it. SO, this is the cheaper result..the transitions are too fast and the music lasts longer than the slides, but it works.  A few instructions:
Click on the video..it will take you to a website that will play it.
If you want to view it in full screen mode, in the lower left hand corner of the video is a box made up of arrows (if you hover your mouse over it, it will say "full screen) click it.
If you want the slide to slow down, just press pause and the music will still play but you'll have more time to read the slide, the press play or next to continue. In fact, you could just click through the whole slide with the music playing at your own pace.
Lastly, if you are in full mode, you need to hit the "esc" button on your keyboard to return to the regular screen. The slideshow will keep looping even though the music isn't complete.

Sorry for the long explanation... I hope that you enjoy it. Oh yah, and the beautiful music that makes the entire production is by none other than Logan Clark.

*When you're finished come back..I have a little note at the bottom of the video :)*

Slideshow design generated with Smilebox

Just a note about today...

As we prepare for our celebrations tomorrow, let us not forget the importance of today.  Today, Jesus was not yet risen. Today, He was conquering death.  My lent devotional portrays the importance of Saturday so beautifully:
"Saturday was a long and dark day. Not only did the disciples hide in fear for their lives, but even worse, they grieved deeply.  Soliders had carried Jesus off to his execution the day before. Now their master was dead and the grief cut deeply, leaving them utterly hollow. .. feeling that all hope was gone.

But, on Sunday, the disciples became aware of a reality far deeper than Saturday's grief. They met hope. Jesus plowed through pain and grief and came out on the other side. Saturdays will come, and they will be painful. But remember: without Saturday, we don't get Sunday. Jesus' love is our hope for today and forever. We will grieve, but with hope."

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for tomorrow :).

At a Loss

Today I am at a loss for words.  This morning I got up thinking I would continue our story from yesterday, posing questions and wondering what it was like to be there with Jesus. But, after reading the gospel accounts, and watching a clip from "The Passion." I decided I wouldn't even try to depict what today represents. Who am I to put into words the utter pain and sorrow that occured on that day? Who am I to capture those moments.. for I was the one holding the nails.  I can only sit in awe and brokeness at the cost that was paid for me. On this Good Friday, one of the most important days in the history of our faith, may we be reflective. We know the best is yet to come, but for today and tomorrow, while we wait, may we not just let it pass us by without really remembering what Christ did for us..He took our sin, our shame, our guilt, and nailed it to a rugged cross.

The following song has been on my heart. How beautiful the truth in these words.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

I Wonder...

I find it oddly appropriate that our weather here for the next few days is dreary.  Later this afternoon, and on into tomorrow, and I think even Saturday, it's supposed to rain.  I may be making this up, but as far back as I can remember, I feel like it's always rainy on Easter weekend.  How completely appropriate, that nature would remind us of the heavy gloom these next few days represent. Like the calm before a storm, I imagine this is how Jesus' last days felt.  As he entered the upper room that Thursday with his disciples, I wonder if there was a quiet stillness to his demeanor, if his voice was calm, if his disciples could sense it coming, for bit by bit, drop by drop, the rain began to make way for the biggest storm in history.

After days of preaching, teaching, and healing, tonight we find Jesus partaking in one last meal.Tonight, He is surrounded, not by a crowd, or religious gurus, but by his disciples...his closest companions, his brothers, his friends.  As they begin to dine together, I imagine Jesus' heart is heavy.  He knows that this will be His final night with them, that in a few short hours, He will fulfill his purpose. 

I wonder, as Jesus sat there, among his most beloved friends, if he was weary...if the coming events weighed heavily on his heart and mind. I wonder, as Jesus broke the bread and offered the wine, did His voice tremble? Did his body ache? Did his soul shudder at the truth in his words? "Take and eat..this is my body...drink from it..this is my blood." Jesus knows the severity of these moments. But, before they begin to partake in this new covenant, the first drop of rain begins to fall.

“Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.” Jesus says, and they all begin to question each other. Surely no one in this room would betray this man..their master..their savior..their friend. And yet, Judas' plan was already in action, and Jesus knew. 

I wonder how that felt? This friend, brother, who journeyed with him, ate, laughed, cried, spent each day with him, has decided money is more valuable. I wonder if Jesus watched Judas fidgit all night. I wonder if Judas' face flushed with each passing glance, if his palms were sweaty, if his heart felt shame. I wonder if Jesus could even bare to look at him. Yet, in this Last Supper scene, we see Jesus, fully aware of his coming hours, extend grace not only to his disciples, but to the very man who gets the storm brewing.

After offering his body, Jesus then does another pecuiliar thing. He gets up from the meal, removes his outer clothing, puts a towel on his waist, and begins to wash each disciples' feet. This was unheard of for a master to do this to his servants, roles should be reversed. But in this moment, on this last night, Jesus performs another humble act of love.

I wonder, as Jesus knelt beside each foot, as he took their dirty, calloused feet into his hands, as he began to gently wash the fitlh and grime..did he clean each toe? Each crevas?  Did he take his time? Did he kiss their feet? Did he shed a tear? Did His face beam with love? Did his heart break as He came to His betrayer?

What an intimate moment, for thier very creator to literally get on his knees, pick up thier filthy flesh, and begin to wash it clean. At the time, the disciples were confused, perplexed, but Jesus knew exactly what He was doing.  In that moment, the God of the universe humbled himself before his creation.  In that moment, God so loved those disciples, that He let them have a glimpse of the cleansing flood to come.  In that moment, Jesus didn't just clean their feet, he cleaned their souls. In that moment, Jesus foreshadowed what was to come..the cleansing and forgiving of their sins through the perfect sacrificial lamb...himself.

After the feasting, the disciples and Jesus journey to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. One by one, the disciples give in to the heaviness of sleep, and soon drift to dreams. Jesus, however, cannot even begin to rest. How could he? Unlike the disciples, Jesus knows how crucial the next few hours are, He knows what's coming. Over the next few hours, Jesus will be betrayed, he will be arrested, tried, beaten, and worst of all...abandoned.

I don't have to wonder what He felt that night, Matthew records His words:
“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will"

“Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. ⁴¹ “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

 ⁴² He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

Can you put yourself there? Can you imagine what He felt? I can try, but I will NEVER understand what He felt. He took on the sins of the world..not just of the present, but the past and the future. I've always thought "Well of course Jesus could do this or that because He is God." What I fail to grasp is that He was fully human too.  Each step of the journey, He had a choice.  This is evident in his cries. I imagine Jesus, broken, sweating, in anguish, tears flowing, with His hands stretched out to God begging for another way.  I wonder if the worst part was knowing, that in his most desperate time of need, God, His father, would forsake him. And in the midst of His pleading, He got his answer...a kiss.  And as Judas' lips touched his cheek, I imagine the sky opening and with a crack of lightening the air stood still as thunder shook the earth...for the storm had finally arrived.

And this is where we end today...our Savior, betrayed and abandoned, is being led to the slaughter.

Love Story

My heart is so full and tender today that I don't even know how to begin to express it.  As I continued my reading from yesterday, I was overcome with truth.  After cursing the fig tree, Jesus goes on to hammer the Pharisees, Sadduccess, and Herodians.  Each group questions and prods Him, trying to find tangible evidence that He is a heretic and should be put to death.  However, Jesus, of course, passes all their tests, and proceeds to condem these religious leaders.  In Matthew 23:13-36, Jesus proclaims a long list of accusations against them, pointing out their hypocrisy.  Their hunger for power, money, and status, have made these men lose sight of God, the very One whom they claim to "live for."

Not only does Jesus use beautiful imagery and metaphors, but you can tell that He is furious with them, and this got me thinking. I imagine Jesus, fully God, fully human, standing there, looking at this group of pitiful, pious, staunch men, being so disgusted.  I imagine he was so full of disgust, that the words couldn't come out fast enough.  Here He is, God in the flesh, looking at men who claim Him, and yet all they do is dictate, and judge, and destroy.  How shiny they were on the outside, how respected and noble, yet their hearts and thoughts were rotting, and Jesus could see right through them.

Have you ever loved someone that hurt you deeply? Have you ever had a loved one, or a child, that chose to do something that just sickened you? Have you ever felt slapped in the face?  I imagine this is how Jesus felt in dealing with these religious leaders. Here the God of the universe, THEIR CREATOR, is standing right in front of them, and all thier energy is spent trying to kill him, trying to protect "their positions".  And yet, even as furious as Jesus was with them, I imagine He was just as deeply saddened for them, broken for their ignorance and the consequences that would befall on them. After all, they too were His children. 

As I was flipping through my Bible, a verse came to me, that to me, sums up Jesus' whole purpose.

Isaiah 61:1-2 ¹
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor

In Luke 4, Jesus actually reads these words at the synagogue and proclaims "Today, this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing." Jesus knew why He had come. He knew that His death was inevitable, and that only through His death would humanity be restored. This scripture makes me think of those Pharisees. In the midst of their plotting and hardened hearts, their freedom stood waiting...freedom from the law, freedom from greed, freedom from sin, and freedom from darkness. Jesus came that even those distestable leaders would be released and restored. I wonder if Jesus thought about that as He rebuked them. I wonder if He so badly wanted to open His arms, open their eyes, and say "It's me! I'm Him! I'm here to set you free! You no longer have to be in chains for I am your Savior! Hear the good news! I love you, I forgive you! I am with you!"

He could have, but He didn't. He didn't, because He knew, that the only way for them to see, the only way to be made right, was for Him to bear their sin...

your sin...

my sin.

And with each sting of their words, with each slap of the whip, with each pound of the nails, He endured that sin. This my friends, is the greatest act of love the world will ever know.

Juicy God-Glorifying Filled Fruit

Today I must confess that my Bible knowledge is lacking.  After re-reading the "Triumphal Entry" accounts in the Gospels, I was suprised to discover that Jesus goes on to live and preach for four more days.  Growing up, I always assumed that the events of Easter were as follows: Jesus enters Jerusalem, He washes the disciples feet, He prays in the garden, Judas betrays him, and so on.  I had no idea that he went around preaching, teaching, and performing more miracles before all the rest of the major Easter events.  I thought he had completed his ministry before going to Jerusalem. Boy was I wrong! ( I blame this lack of knowledge on "The Victor" play put on every year by College Church. :) Just kidding.)  But although I'm a bit embarassed at my ignorance, I must say it's exciting.  I love that I am able to go through these next couple of days reading about what Jesus did do leading up to what I already think I know.  Now, just as a disclaimer, I have read passages from the Gospels all my life, but if I've ever read them straight through, I wasn't making a mental note of their placement in Jesus' ministry.  I've already discovered a lot, and it's nice to put the accounts in a mental timeline. I would venture to say, that what He chose to teach about during His last days on earth, is probably crucial to our faith, and I can't wait to read on. I know, you're probably all thinking "duh Courtney," but that's the great thing about re-reading scripture- God can speak through it over and over again, and reveal new truths through it!

So, today I read about what Jesus did after entering Jerusalem.  After arriving with a throng of people and excitement, He goes straight to the temple, and He's not happy.  (See, I thought He had already done this, but apparently, this is the second time He has cleared the temple. Can't people get a hint! :)  As He enters the temple, merchants and money changers are set up everywhere, selling and making deals with all who have come to worship God. Jesus is angry.  Here these greedy, low-life dealers are turing a profit in God's house.  They have competely disrespected God, His temple, and the people who have come to worship Him. So, Jesus does what any good son would do, He puts an end to their little party. "It is written" he proclaims "My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a robber's den." Matthew 21:13 And, He throws them all out, even the people buying the stuff! 

I think the message from this is pretty obvious. God's house is holy, a place of worship and respect for God and each other. Let's keep it that way.

The next day, Jesus becomes hungry. Upon finding a fig tree, Jesus proceeds to curse it for not bearing any fruit. At his very words, the tree withers and dies. Now, I've always found it odd that Jesus just decides to curse this poor little tree, but of course, His actions always have a reason.  Just as the fig tree produced no fruit, so can the lives of religious people produce no fruit.  From afar, the tree appeared healthy, full of life, but, upon inspection, it was useless.

Hmmmm... sounds a lot like us doesn't it?  How often do we appear like Christians on the outside, but our actions produce no fruit?  James took this concept and put it so simply "Faith without works is dead." James 2:20

I hope that Jesus will be able to look at me and see lush, healthy, fruit, not a useless facade. May we pray that He will take our faith and help us put it into action....that He will prune, water, and fertizle our souls, and that the result will be luscious, juicy, God-glorifying-filled fruit.

(Just a side note- fig trees took three years to begin producing fruit..just sayin..all good things take time)

Mmm I really like fruit. :)
Can't wait to see what I'll read about tomorrow!
Love.

Oh How I Love Palm Branches!

I love Palm Sunday. In fact, I just love Easter.  I love the excitement and anticipation of the enitre season, starting with Ash Wednesday, up to Ressurection Sunday.  I love all the silly things about it too- the egg decorating (yes we all still participate), egg hunts, the colors, the candy, the bunny, everything. It's so exciting! Along with the commercial aspects, I of course love the spiritutal rituals as well- the palm branches, singing Hosanna, Lent, Good Friday and re-reading/living the whole purpose/story of this holiday. So, you can imagine how estatic I was to wake up today! Just the thought of waving a palm branch made my little heart want to burst!  And, my church did not disappoint. 

Our worship team and choir performed our yearly Easter cantata complete with some great music, a moving duest, and "All hail the Power of Jesus Name" (SO EASTER!) But, the cherry on top was my palm branches. :) This month, I am on usher duty, so I had the honor of handing out the palm branches (I tried hard to make sure EVERYONE had one, didn't want them to miss out).  And, the best part was, that being an usher, I got to stand at the back for the first half of the service. So, when those palm branches went up and started waving around, and the choir and the children's choir were singing, I got to witness the ENTIRE congregation joining in the celebration! It was beautiful! If I thought my heart was going to burst earlier, it was overflowing now! What a great way to kick off Holy week...with songs, and celebrations, and palm branches....kind of like the day when Jesus entered Jerusalem.

Can you picture it? Reflect with me for a minute.

It is the time of the Passover celebration in Jerusalem.  All the Jews from all around are making their way into the city for this special time.  Jesus has fairly recently performed one of His greatest miracles.. raising Lazarus from the dead! I imagine if people weren't abuzz about His miracles before this, they sure were now.  These Jews are beginning to think that this Jesus is the Messiah that they have been waiting for, that He is going to save them.  The road is thick with people, and excitement as Jesus begins the journey into Jerusalem. Some are even laying down their own coats to make a royal pathway for their coming King.  Palm branches wave in anticipation and adoration, and cries of Hosanna "help us! save us!" are being shouted out to this man, their hope.  The crowd is crazy as they watch their King FINALLY arrive after all these years!! And in the midst of all this commotion, right smack in the middle of it all, is Jesus.

The retellings in the gospels don't tell us much about what Jesus is doing during all of this, we know he was on a donkey, and that's about it. I imagine He was quiet, reflective, and humble.  I have to wonder, what was He thinking during all of this? I mean after all, He was the reason for their celebrating.  I wonder if he was saddened, not just at their utter blindness to His true purpose, but at their dire situations.  As he rode through the crowd, I imagine he was pained for these beautiful, clueless people. Not only were they held in bondage to Rome, and to the law, but most importantly, to themselves.  They had no idea that Jesus had really come not to save them from earthly oppression, but to save their souls.  In Luke, we do get a small glimpse at his thoughts " ⁴¹ As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it." He then proceeds to confess his great sorrow that these people have missed the point, they have missed God right in front of them! I also have to wonder if his heart got heavier with each step closer to the city.  Once He arrived, his journey would be one of sorrow, pain, and ultimately death. 

I have to wonder today, as we celebrate Palm Sunday, how often does this season roll around and we too celebrate the wrong thing? How often is God right in front of us, and we miss Him?  We know the rest of the story, but it doesn't make each part any less important.  As we venture into Holy week, I pray that we would take the journey with Jesus once again.  That we would put ourselves there, in those moments. I don't want this to be just another exciting season of egg decorating and waving palm branches.  I want to set this week aside to be what it is meant to be...Holy.  I want this week to be different, and to experience my Ressurection story all over again.  I think God has some stuff He's laying on my heart to help me do that, and I hope that I'll be open enough to let Him do that through this blog and in my daily activities.  Don't miss out on another opportunity to really celebrate this season. Keep those palm branches ready, for the real celebration is just around the corner.  Love.

Ranting and Raving

Sigh. My heart is heavy. The past four days of my life have blurred from one to the next. Being sick, I haven't accomplished anything whatsoever and this afternoon the weariness (did I make that up?) at being weary has finally gotten the best of me.  And, the dreary day did little but add to my depressing state.  I tend to be an emotional person, and usually I can keep it under control. But, there are days when all of the emotions I've bottled for days seem to burst open at one moment and I can't stop the flood. (Clinton is learning to be on guard at all times) So this is where I found myself this afternoon.  Not only was I tired from being a lazy, sick, unproductive person, but my heart was saddened to discover that some prayers I've been desperately praying about are not going to come to fruition in "my time frame,"and other prayers and concerns "seem" to be spiraling out of control. So with a heavy heart, I unloaded it all on the one person I knew would be an unbiased listener...God. You would have thought someone had died.. I was crying and moaning, and screaming in my head, and questioning, and ranting and raving, and pouring out my heart to Him, and, I didn't even say amen.

God's funny isn't He? He let me scream and rave and cry and go on and on. He let me think for a moment that I was right, and I was justified in my questioning and my disappointment, and that there was no point to even praying....but then just when I thought I'd "told" Him, that He was surely going to open up Heaven and give me what I wanted right then because I was that mad, He decided to speak. First, He gave me Clinton to finish crying on (He did beautifully, had that shoulder ready to go) and then He gave me His word.

"Trust Me, and don't be afraid. Many things feel out of control. Your routines are not running smoothly. You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable. Let Me lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances. Take refuge in the shelter of my wings, where you are absolutely secure.

When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for my kingdom. Say yes to the ways I work in your life. Trust Me, and do not be afraid." Jesus Calling

Referenced Scriptures: Isaiah 12:2, Psalm 61:2-4, 2 Corinthians 3:18

I guess He told me. Actually He told me just what I needed..that I can grip His hand tightly, that I am secure in Him, and that days like these are opportunities for Him to strenghten and change me.  Change doesn't always feel good in the process, but with God I know it is totally worth it. I hope these words comfort you today :) Love.

A Man Named Dana

Yesterday morning, Clinton and I got to attend church with Logan.  I always find myself a bit uncomfortable in new churches/surroundings, and yesterday proved no different.  The church was more auditorium style then my familiar Central pews, and the Pastor looked like he could be the lead singer of some band.  Even more distracting, Michael W. Smith lead worship. (Yes I know I'm name dropping, but it's his church and it was just weird/cool to be apart of him leading).  After getting over my starstruckness (couldn't think of a better word), I tried to focus on the amazing music.  All around the small auditorium, hands were raised in praise and adoration for God- for the same God that's at central, and during my devotions, and walks with me in the mornings.  Even though my surroundings were different, we were all praising the same God.  As I tried to rid my mind of the things to come, and tried to focus on the present moment, I heard something. 

Amidst all this splendid muisc and singing, I heard the most beautiful sound of all...a man's voice.  It flowed and rose with each note, sometimes singing the words, sometimes humming or oohhhing along.  But no matter the expression of noise, it was beautiful, so deep, so soulful, so intimate and humbling.  It didn't take me long to realize that it was coming from a large, tall, black man sitting in front of Logan.

 I remember him coming in late, walking with a limp and cane, and placing a chair in front of Logan.  At the time I judgementaly thought"Oh great, now Logan's not going to be able to see, how rude to sit right in front of him." I was relieved when his lame leg caused him to sit down.  Ashamed at my ugly thought, I brushed him off as a nobody. He wasn't wearing anything spectacular, just an old tshirt and black pants. Aside from his massive size, he was just another person in the congregation. Thus, I was surprised to hear such sweet sounds coming from this man.  During the rest of worship, I prayed some, sang some, but mostly I just listened to him praising God with all his soul.  He was so loud, and so perfectly in tune. I felt like he was an angel singing out the magnitude of God's holiness. 

When the singing was over we had greeting time, and yet again I had some ugly thoughts.  "Logan has been coming here how long? Why has no one befriended him? Why is no one talking to him? They call themselves Christians." Yes I know, I allowed my heart to be very unpleasant, and I get the messge loud and clear that I need to look at the plank in my own eye, but for now I'm not happy (on a side note, the pastor did talk to him, and has been in contact). And just as the announcements were beginning, and my brain was fumming, my precious singing man turns around and speaks to Logan. "Hey! How are you!? Where have you been?!" Huge smile across his face, intently listening and conversing with Logan, and then he introduces himself to us..him name is Dana.

This was the last interaction we had with Dana.  After the service we bolted pretty quickly, hungry bellies and a long trip home, drove us out.  But today, as I reflect on our trip, I cannot help remember this man, Dana.In those few moments yesterday, his presence and heart brought me humbly to my knees. I find myself disgusted with my judgemental, superior attitude. I find myself desiring this light that so brightly showed through him.  I find myself wanting this passion and effortless display of worship and pure kindness. I can't shake the thought that something was different about him, and then it hits me...

Dana was Jesus.

This large, late, nothing special man radiated Jesus.  His voice, his spirit, his smile, all reflected Christ.  In the midst of my self-consumed, star-struck, pity party, in an unfamiliar place, and with unfamiliar faces, I saw Christ. He was sitting in front and to the left of me. He had been there all along... all I had to do was look.

Yesterday, Today, Forever

Today Clinton and I are traveling to Nashville to see Logan. I AM SO EXCITED! I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve! This is the first time we have been up there since he moved in August. I can't wait! I've been thinking over these past fews days/weeks of anticipation about how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family! Not long ago, my own selfishness and sin caused some unrest and brokeness with my family. But today I can proclaim that those relationships have been renewed, restored, and are beautiful.  I feel so overwhelming blessed to have the opportunity to be a part of each one of their lives. I am just in awe at God's goodness and grace this morning. My cup runneth over!

Just wanted to leave a quick blurp before I went.  I read this this morning and wanted to share. I think it's a good reminder and is written beautifully.

"When you feel far from Me, whisper my Name. This simple act in childlike faith, opens your heart to My Presence. Speak to Me in love-tones; prepare to receive My Love, which flows eternally from the cross. I am delighted when you open youself to My Loving Presence." "Jesus Calling" Sarah Young

I love that. Hebrews 13:8 says "Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever." May we take comfort in knowing as our world, thoughts, attitutudes, and people change, that He doesn't. I'm so thankful that God was and is constant through all of my struggles, that all along her was but a whisper away.

Love you!

"Where Words Fail...."

One of my brother's favorite sayings is "Where words fail, music speaks." I too love the simplicity and truth in this statement.  Music speaks to the soul. It expresses what the heart cannot.  A song evokes emotions and taps into our deepest longings.  It can connect us to a moment, remind us of a place, a time, a feeling. It can heal your pain, let out your frustration, or make you want to dance with no abandon.  When words fail, music speaks.

Just as music can speak on our behalf, so can the Holy Spirit.

Romans 8:26-27 ²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

If you have accepted Christ into your heart and life, then with that acceptance comes the filling of the Holy Spirit.  Within each one of us, the Spirit of God himself dwells. Did you get that? When we become a Christian, we literally have God's power and spirit living in our bodies.  Wow. I often associate the Holy Spirit to that nagging "You shouldn't do that" voice.. or the "You know you should be doing this.."voice. And although that is a large part of His purpose, another really cool aspect of being filled with the Spirit is that when our words fail, He speaks. 

When we can't pray another day for that "thing", when our hearts ache, when we have exhausted all tears and resources, the Holy Spirit is there.  When we are so overwhelmed with joy, our insides might burst, and we can't sing loud enough, the Holy Spirit is there.  When we are having a ho-hum, "not in the mood", need to change our attitude, kind of day, the Holy Spirit is there. 

The Bible says that the Spirit intercedes for us even through our wordless groans.  I imagine the same for exuberant jublilation as well.  I don't know about you, but this is so comforting to me. I don't have to worry about the right words, the Holy Spirit comes up with those for me. Just as a song connects to our deepest emotions, so does the Holy Spirit, but on a whole new level. God knows our hearts. He's in our hearts. How amazing is it that when when our humanly efforts and words fail, we have our own melody stirring within our souls?

Today, I pray that you would find comfort in knowing that, when our words fail, the Spirit speaks.

The Woman at the Well (Finally)

It's hot. The sun is blazing down. It's the middle of the day.  The well is deserted, and for good reason. Most people fetch their water in the cool of the morning, not the scorching hours of noon. But those people are not like her. Those people pick and prod, and whisper. Their sneers and judgemental glances confirm her place in this crowd. She's a lowlife, a nothing, a waste.  So she waits. She waits until the crowd is gone and the well is deserted.  At least now she can draw her water without thier audible disgust.  But even as she goes day after day, all alone, the whispers in her soul never cease.  The pain she bears with this life's lot never leaves.  It's always there, always lingering, always jeering.  An empty shell, an aching heart, and a nameless face.

Today seems like all the rest. She trudges to the well to fetch the only thing that will cool her body and her thirst. But, today is different, she is not alone.  Today there is a man, a Jewish man, and he is sitting at her well.  Flustered and nervous, she approaches the well and begins to draw from it. Trying to blend in, to fade away, she tries her best not to bother him. And then, the unthinkable happens.  This highly esteemed, Jewish man speaks to her.  "Please give me a drink." He requests.  Taken aback, the woman replys in shock  "I am a Samaritan woman, you are a Jew. Why are you asking Me for a drink?" This man shouldn't even be looking at her, let alone talking to her.  To him, she is the lowest of low, the dirt beneath his sandals. And yet, he begins to engage her in conversation. 

"If you only knew the gift God has for you, and who you are speaking to, you would ask me and I would give you living water."  A gift? For her?  What is this living water he speaks of? Could this be the miracle she has been longing for all her life?  Hesitant, she inquires "But sir, how can you even get this water? You have no bucket, no rope. This well is of our great ancestor Jacob. Are you greater than he?"

"Anyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty. It becomes a fresh bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life"he responds.

Never be thristy again? She can't believe her ears. If she were to have this water, her bucket would always be full. She would never again have to face the heat of the day, the sneering faces, the disgust. Water that gives forth enternal life?! "Sir please!" she begs. "Let me have this water that I may never have to come to this well again!" Ancipation is growing, her heart is swollen within her chest, she can't believe her good fortune. And just as she begins to hope, a sharp pain pierces her soul.  "Go and get your husband." this man commands.  And at those words, her heart drops.  Her joy dissapates, her hope dims, and she is reminded of her worthlessness. She doesn't deserve this living water he speaks of, for she is but a dirty rag doll. 

With shifting eyes, and heavy heart she confesses "Sir, I have no husband." "You're right." he says. "You have had five husbands, and you aren't even married to the man you are living with now. You have spoken the truth."

Shocked, she realizes he must be a prophet, for how else would he know these things?  What little pride she has is now gone. This Jewish man must be completely disgusted with her as well. Broken and ashamed, she is ready to return to her work alone. If he's not going to give her this water, she's wasting time.  She doesn't need another person to point out her situation. She already knows her demise, she doesn't need a lecture, she needs a Savior.

Embarassed and wounded, she deflects from her sin by inquiring about the proper place to worship. Her tatic worked, he didn't continue to prod at her pain, he just simply answered her question. He began talking about a day coming when all will worship in Spirit and in truth, that one day there will be no proper place of worship, for the spirit will be among them all.

Not wanting to debate any further, she remembers something that might conclude this conversation. So she states: "I know the Messiah is coming- the one who is called Christ. He will explain everything to us."

Thinking this meeting is over, she starts to draw up her bucket. But then, something happens. This man, this Jewish man, who has toyed with her emotions, who has promised her life, then pointed out her shame, and has now ended with a sermon on worship, looks at her.  He looks at her, really looks at her-this nameless face, this used up flesh, this broken heart.  His face lights up, his eyes are gentle, his voice is smooth and sweet, and he speaks:

"I AM the Messiah."

John 4:6-26

In that moment her life changed.  In that moment the pain of her past was erased, and she was filled with Christ's living water.  At that moment she inherited a father, a family, and a name. Jesus did not meet with that woman to point out her sin, to make her feel ashamed, or to give her a lesson on worship. No, Jesus had a divine meeting with that woman to revive her.  He knew that what this woman so longed for was 'living water." Water that would quench her soul, water that would bring her new life, and water that would wash away her pain.  I think in our lives it's easy for us to turn from Christ because we are ashamed of our sin, we don't want Him to make us feel "condemed" or "guilty." I think we do a pretty good job of feeling that way on our own.  Christ came to free us from sin, from that guilt. He came to heal our pain, not make it worse.  So today, I pray that you would let Christ have your pain. He already knows. He's just waiting to give you a long, cold, satisfying glass of living water.