Ranting and Raving

Sigh. My heart is heavy. The past four days of my life have blurred from one to the next. Being sick, I haven't accomplished anything whatsoever and this afternoon the weariness (did I make that up?) at being weary has finally gotten the best of me.  And, the dreary day did little but add to my depressing state.  I tend to be an emotional person, and usually I can keep it under control. But, there are days when all of the emotions I've bottled for days seem to burst open at one moment and I can't stop the flood. (Clinton is learning to be on guard at all times) So this is where I found myself this afternoon.  Not only was I tired from being a lazy, sick, unproductive person, but my heart was saddened to discover that some prayers I've been desperately praying about are not going to come to fruition in "my time frame,"and other prayers and concerns "seem" to be spiraling out of control. So with a heavy heart, I unloaded it all on the one person I knew would be an unbiased listener...God. You would have thought someone had died.. I was crying and moaning, and screaming in my head, and questioning, and ranting and raving, and pouring out my heart to Him, and, I didn't even say amen.

God's funny isn't He? He let me scream and rave and cry and go on and on. He let me think for a moment that I was right, and I was justified in my questioning and my disappointment, and that there was no point to even praying....but then just when I thought I'd "told" Him, that He was surely going to open up Heaven and give me what I wanted right then because I was that mad, He decided to speak. First, He gave me Clinton to finish crying on (He did beautifully, had that shoulder ready to go) and then He gave me His word.

"Trust Me, and don't be afraid. Many things feel out of control. Your routines are not running smoothly. You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable. Let Me lead you to the rock that is higher than you and your circumstances. Take refuge in the shelter of my wings, where you are absolutely secure.

When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for my kingdom. Say yes to the ways I work in your life. Trust Me, and do not be afraid." Jesus Calling

Referenced Scriptures: Isaiah 12:2, Psalm 61:2-4, 2 Corinthians 3:18

I guess He told me. Actually He told me just what I needed..that I can grip His hand tightly, that I am secure in Him, and that days like these are opportunities for Him to strenghten and change me.  Change doesn't always feel good in the process, but with God I know it is totally worth it. I hope these words comfort you today :) Love.