Little Logie

I really don't even know where to begin.  For those of you who haven't seen my mother's posts, my brother, Logan is not in a good state.  Over the past week, his heath has gone from bad to worse.  To wrap a long story into a nutshell, I will try to summarize the past week's events.

Logan had returned home from school due to a health issue.  The issue turned out to be a big one that required surgery.  In the process of setting up the surgery, he became very sick. He was suffering from a high fever and seizure like chills.  On Saturday night, his blood pressure had dropped, and his heart rate escalated landing him a trip to the ER. After three days of testing, scanning, and probing, the doctors finally discovered the culprit- the infection has spread to his bones.  Not good.

Now, what began as a fairly easy surgery with a fairly speedy recovery rate, has quickly turned into bad news bears.  Logan will have to undergo two surgeries-one for the intitial problem and one to fix the bone infection.  I am not up on all my medical jargon, and I'll spare some of the unpleasant details that go along with this condition.  But, I do know that he will get to spend the next at least 6 weeks hooked up to an IV and he has to do it LAYING DOWN! This is going to be a very long road. 

I swear! Can he not get a break?! The one thing he loves to do is play music..can he do that laying down? Not very well I'm sure! And being confined to a bed and a house for 6+ weeks is enough to make my brain and body go crazy just thinking about it!  I can't even fathom the hurt and disappointment that he must feel! If roles were reversed all I would be able to see is a deep black hole waiting to suck me in. How depressing!

So, of course, my mother and I are a wreck.  We are completely emotionally drained from this prognosis.  I am angry, I am heart broken, I am confussed, and I'm miles away.  I could go on and on about how I "feel" about this whole situation..everything that it entails..the disappointment..etc. But I want to share with you my conversation with the one person who is really experiencing it all..Logan.

After receiving the news I decided to give him a call. The following is our convo (not verbatim, but close):

Me (sobbing) "Hey"
Logan (cheery) "Hey! What's up?!"
Me (still sobbing) "Well it doesn't sound like much good is up where you are! This is just so sucky! Life just sucks right now and I'm so sorry!"
Logan (still cheery) "Ha, no. It's all good! It'll be ok!"
Me(you get the pic.) "Of course you would say that! Here I am bawling and you are just fine! But it really does suck right now. You are like Job.. I don't get it?! What more can be taken from you?!"
Logan "Ha. It's ok!"
Me: "Well I'm so sorry. We need a miracle right now. You know that we are praying for you and that you are on prayer chains across Kansas?"
Logan "Yup. There's a lot of power behind that."
Me: "Well we will do whatever we can to make this better."
Logan "I know. Just keep praying."

Wow. How bout I just take a big gulp of humble pie.  In my mind, this situation is the end of the world and I'm thinking REALLY GOD!!?? And Logan? He's as cool as a cucumber.  I'm sure that deep down he knows that this is going to be a long road, and that it's not going to be peachy, but the faith and trust that he continues to display astound me.  Here I am a blubbering mess, trying to offer words of comfort..to make sense of it all..and he's the one comforting me.

Deep down Logan has grasped the concept of temporary. Deep down Logan understands that this place is not our home. Deep down Logan has the Spirit of God alive and working in his heart.  Deep down Logan gets "it."  He is a living testimony of the power of a transformed life. He may be bound by an fallible earthly body, but guess what? Logan knows his Maker.

Phillipians 4:6-7 "Be anxious in nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace that surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."