I AM TIRED

I am tired. No, I'm not just tired, I am weary.  Definition: to be physically or mentally exhausted...I think I'm both.  The term weary carries with it a weight, a lingering sensation of seemingly incurable tiredness.  Over the past month I have moved parts of my house several times, driven countless hours, spent days and nights transforming my classroom, tried to unpack my belongings, and as of today I started a three day..all day..orientation with the school district..oh yah and school starts next Thursday.  Not only am I physically and mentally exhausted from all of this, I'm emotionally drained as well.  Leaving my family, my little home, my comfort, and now preparing myself for a real job, new surroundings, and 22 little first graders. 

I am weary.

I don't know how people do it. This is completely naieve, but until you experience it, you just don't realize how much energy is required to have fulltime job and life!  I feel like I haven't slept enough, ate enough, exercised enough, fostered my relationships enough, or spent time with God enough.  Any little amount of energy I have is being sucked into school right now. I just don't know how people manage a career, a spouse and then throw kids on top of that..and a life! Ah! It's exhausting.

After my long day I decided I needed a small rest (which was very challenging because I knew I'd be giving up valuable time). So after my nap I decided.. ok I need to get my blood flowing, get some sunshine, go on a walk, and spend some time with God.  It was during this walk that my weariness hit me.  As I walked and talked with God, He laid heavy on my heart the burden of weariness we all carry.  At first I felt selfish for making excuses for not being stellar in all areas of my life..chalking it up to "I'm tired." And then I felt Him speak to me about being weary...we are all weary. 

I thought about my mother whose heart is weary from loving her children so intensely, about my father, my husband, and those who are burdened with finnacial responsibilities and the daily grind of work.  I thought about my sister, whose weary from a broken heart. My brother, who must be weary from the extra mile he must take every day.  My loved ones who must be weary from running so hard..who try to push God away.  Those who are dealing with the uncertainty of illness. Those weary from constant failure.  Those who put all their time and energy into their families or their work and have no room left at the end of the day.  Those of us, all of us, who just need rest.  We don't get away from it, we can push it aside, we can press on, but the heaviness of it all can linger.  Sometimes we just need to rest.

"Jesus Lives" -Resting in Him
"I know how weary you are and how desperately you need soul-rest. Even when your body is still your thoughts tend to go hither and yon...I already know what you're thinking so you have nothing to hide. You need to wait in my Presence, giving me time to help you think My thoughts. Though you may feel as if you're wasting time, you are actually doing the opposite. Your steps will be fewer but you will accomplish much more, for you will be staying close to Me- THe Way the Truth, The Life. No matter how strenuous your journey, you can find soul-rest in My company."

Oh how we need a soul-rest.

"Come to me all you who are heavy burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Music is sweeter after a rest- may our lifesongs remember this beauty.