Man I'm Selfish

Wow..how selfish am I? Yesterday I was ranting about how tired I am..how weary..oh woe is me that I have to pray for people another day...how much of a burden to HAVE to do this eeevverrryy day. Gag. I am disgusted with myself at how pathetic I can be sometimes.  I can chalk it up to human nature, but in reality, I just didn't want to feel burdened by something that would take up MY precious time..again. Today I can honestly say that I prayed to God from a whole different persceptive.  I have started to read the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, and some truths clicked with me today that made me go DUH! Some of you may have read this book and will know what I'm talking about, for others, you may have already realized this in your own journey, but if you're like me, then I hope today you will see God in a different light.

In the book, Francis talked about God being our father and all the entails.  We are called children of God, He is our father.I have known this my whole life, and yet it has just never registered with me what that means to go to Him as a Father.  Just as a parent takes delight in their children, so God does with us! He created us to spend time with Him, to be His pride and joy.  God WANTS and WAITS to spend time with us!

"The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God, but don't want Him most of the time." Chan

Wow.Why do we do that? Why do we pust him away? I've always known that God loves us unconditionally, that He wants a relationship with us..yada yada..but I realized today that most of my relationship with Him is out of fear that I HAVE to be doing this or else. I think we selfishly get caugt up in how much a God relationship requires of us and we just give up because it's too much work. I often fear that he'll be disappointed with me,  that I won't get my prayers answered, etc. if I don't have a rigid Bible study/Prayer time every day. Adding one more thing to my to do list is tiring, and therefore I often don't reap the benefits of a love relationship, rather I burn out easily. But today I realized that's not it at all. It's not about me punching my time in and feeling guilty when I don't talk to him, it's about me changing my persepective. 

My mother and I have a very close relationship.  I call her pretty much everyday, sometimes multiple times a day.  I don't call her because I feel that I "have to" rather I call her because I want to.  I know that she will be on the other end of that phone waiting to hear about my day, about my problems, my concerns, my heartbreaks, my joys, everything because she loves me, because I am her child! It's not a chore to check off my list for the day, I look forward to talking with my mom. I know she is there whenever I need her, and she is there to just love me and give me advice and counsel.  She's not angry with me when I don't call her because we have a secure, loving relationship, and I know she will love me no matter what...and that is what makes me want to talk to her even more!

I want to view God like this, He is my father, and I want that kind of relationship with Him.  Instead of checking off my prayer requests for the day, I want to be in constant communion with Him. He already knows my thoughts anyways, so why not talk to him about everything? He wants to know what concerns me, my joys, my requests, when something was funny, enjoyable, etc. He's just waiting for me to grab His hand, go on a walk, curl up in his lap, anything just to be with me and listen.  Now, am I saying that I don't think daily prayer or Bible reading is important? No way, but I don't want to get bogged down feeling guilty about it.  I want to fall so in love with Christ that I want to, have to, need to talk to him! And, just as my mom is ready with advice, so is He through prayer, his people,His spirit, and most importantly His word!  THe more I start seeing HIm as my loving, father, the more I will want to be like Him. Most children look up to their parents, and our realtionship with God shouldn't be any different.  I could go into the parallels about discipline and other aspects of parenting, but for today I just want to revel in the thought that he truly is my Father!

So this morning when I prayed, we just talked.  We talked about my job yesterday, my silly dog, the fun evening I had, and then it naturally came to talk to him about my longings, my hurts and desires for my family and my friends.  I talk to my mom about these kinds of things, yet I can talk even more intimately with Him about them because He can feel my heart and He knows my deepest emotion.  Wow. So today or this weekend I would challenge you to really picture Him as a loving parent. Take some time to just chat and let your heart guide your conversation.  I guarantee that He will be there listening to you, laughing with you, hurting with you, loving on you, and waiting to give you just what you need.

Ephesians 2:10
Psalm 139 13:18
John 1:11-13